the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
