I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
