she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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