Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
she pinky promised me she was 18
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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