i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
