You're a womanizer and a bitch.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
