Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
