need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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