I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
