The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize