I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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