some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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