He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
