Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
