he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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