barbara walters just said penis...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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