YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
