I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
