didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
