If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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