Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
