There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
