The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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