no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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