Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize