yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
