No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
