you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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