it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
