Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized

(914): View more from New York

No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."

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(508): Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized (914): No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes." http://tfl.nu/s64m

Replies (23) Good night (3278) Bad night (830)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Are you trying to threaten my boobs?

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(402): Are you trying to threaten my boobs? http://tfl.nu/zkua

Replies (17) Good night (3163) Bad night (990)
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(516): View more from New York

OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM

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(516): OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM http://tfl.nu/ckuz

Replies (34) Good night (8009) Bad night (1852)
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(914): View more from New York

friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day

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(914): friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day http://tfl.nu/igko

Replies (5) Good night (2346) Bad night (830)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.

(701): View more from North Dakota

The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.

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(701): Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend. (701): The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer. http://tfl.nu/9cgs

Replies (7) Good night (2159) Bad night (959)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.

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(701): Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically. http://tfl.nu/syut

Replies (4) Good night (711) Bad night (1368)
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(562): View more from California

as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.

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(562): as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment. http://tfl.nu/n398

Replies (13) Good night (1954) Bad night (736)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.

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(270): Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail. http://tfl.nu/dt82

Replies (2) Good night (928) Bad night (500)
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(850): View more from Florida

I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.

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(850): I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl. http://tfl.nu/bohf

Replies (7) Good night (1260) Bad night (485)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final

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(423): My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final http://tfl.nu/c4wx

Replies (6) Good night (1912) Bad night (595)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?

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(605): Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night? http://tfl.nu/gtih

Replies (6) Good night (495) Bad night (972)
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(678): View more from Georgia

So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color

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(678): So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color http://tfl.nu/9bip

Replies (0) Good night (740) Bad night (285)
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(602): View more from Arizona

My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets

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(602): My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets http://tfl.nu/nnmb

Replies (3) Good night (505) Bad night (451)
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(316): View more from Kansas

I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.

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(316): I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger. http://tfl.nu/dz7z

Replies (1) Good night (438) Bad night (254)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy

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(541): Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy http://tfl.nu/h95k

Replies (1) Good night (385) Bad night (187)

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