in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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