i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i want to fuck
it's pretty self explanatory
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
The Olympian is in my bed