umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.