We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
