so explain again why im purple
no
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
