I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
