You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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