Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
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Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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