This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
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