I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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