Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Holy sore nipples Batman
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
