I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
