Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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