Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
