she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
cat food counts as protein by the way
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize