brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
