yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
