But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
