I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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