I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
