That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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