hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
