In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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