I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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