the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
