areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
