so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
NoShamevember. You game?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
