Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
