I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
