tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
no you cant smoke seaweed
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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