oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
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