Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My dick has a subreddit
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
