is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
