There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
